Penny: And you must be Tony DiNozzo. I have heard so much about you.

Tony: Wow. It’s a pleasure. I wish I could say the same.

Tim: ’84 Camaro Z-28 five-speed.

Tony: That’s a smoking-hot car, McGee. What the hell went wrong with you?

Tim: Well, the first day I got behind the wheel… I had a slight thing.

Tony: Head-on?

Tim: I was trying to figure out the wipers… took my eyes off the road for a second. When I looked up, there it was, right in front of me.

Tony: Car.

Tim: Bus. I got a student pass the day I got out of traction.

Tony: *hugs* I didn’t know.

-Season 2 Episode 21, Hometown Hero

Tim: Not a hacker either.

Ziva: How do you know?

Tim: My firewall hasn’t been penetrated.

Tony: Lubricant helps, but everybody has dry spells.

Tony: You missed a little spot by my left ear there. I’d do it myself but my wound here prevents it.

Tim: Wound? A two-inch scratch.

Tony: I was grazed by a bullet. Another six inches to the left and bam, no more DiNozzo. Under the chin, too.

Tim: You know what? I’m done. Do it yourself.

Tony: Fine. Just don’t come to me looking for sympathy the next time you get shot.

-Season 3 Episode 12, Boxed In

Tony: I love you, McGee. I promise never to give you a hard time again.

Tim: Yeah… Right.

-Season 5 Episode 5, Leap of Faith

Tony: Probie does a lot for me.

McCadden: Really? He seems like such a geek. You deserve better.

Tony: There is no better.

-Season 7 Episode 19, Guilty Pleasure